I am going to take this time to get extremely personal in a public place.
- I don’t feel like I can confide in anyone.
- My best friend constantly stays over at my house and eats my food, then leaves and goes to his girlfriend’s house for the rest of the day. He is constantly with her, and she has replaced me. The sad part is that I hate him for it, but when she leaves him, I’ll be right here to catch him.
- One of my closest friends has recently done multiple things to let me down and become deeply disappointed in her. I’ve told her that she’s upset me, but she doesn’t seem to care. This is a friend that said she would do anything for me. I’d do anything for her.
- My mother is constantly stressed out and yelling at my grandma, my sister and I. I don’t blame her. She has reason to be upset. It just makes me livid when she says “everyone” followed by a negative statement. I clean, I make good grades, I am quiet, I am independent, would it kill her to give me any recognition? She makes me feel useless.
- My sister has Bipolar Disorder. She can’t help the way she acts. She just gets all the attention.
- My father moved out of the house at the end of November. He and my mom are going through a serious rough patch, and I’m not entirely sure that their marriage is going to make it. This makes me nervous, because their relationship is what I base all of mine off of. If they can’t fix things, I don’t have any hope whatsoever. I have also lost a great deal of respect for my father in the process. He thinks that even though he doesn’t live with us right now, that he can still enforce rules. I think that is unfair. He needs to get his stuff together before he comes down on the rest of us.
- I am adopted. This really isn’t an issue, nor does it upset me. It is just another detail. When I refer to my “mother”, “father”, “sister” or so on, I am talking about my adoptive family.
- My grandma lost her husband a few years ago. This man meant the world to me. He was my favorite man on the planet. He was my role model. I miss him. Anyway, my grandmother lost him and since she has been living with us. About the same time as his death, she had knee surgery. She hasn’t been able to walk like she used to since, and it is her fault. She never rehabbed her knee correctly. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time, I am annoyed that she doesn’t want to get better.
- I feel as if I am stuck between two friends.
- I want a complete fresh start with girls. I feel as if I am in a position that is impossible to get out of. A stalemate, where everyone loses.
- I am going off to college at the end of the summer. It is going to be a new experience, and I hope that I am going to enjoy it, but I can’t help but be nervous and scared.
- I don’t have anyone to do fun things with. My relationship with everyone that I am involved with is so fucked up. I don’t have anyone that will just hang out with me and make everything better, or at least temporarily go away.
Anyway, sorry for complaining. I just had to put that out there somewhere. I doubt anyone will even read this anyway. Thank you, to anyone that does.